Oblivion
by fabulouslaughter
Summary: Marley's life is a disaster. After she fainted at Regionals, things only get worse. The people, the whispers in the hallway, the food forced upon her, her ever growing weight, the vomit clouding the bathroom toilet. But just one step and it can all go away. Random one-shot. Marley-centric, after Season 4 Sectionals


**So yah, this isn't an update to any of my stories. And I guess I could've been working on those, but I wrote this instead. My best friend just got her heartbroken and depression inspires me to write I Guess. So you get depressing writing! Yay! Uh it's a oneshot, and it's actually pretty short and doesn't have much of a point really. I just kind of wrote it tonight in the last few hours and I figured I might as well posted. It takes place after the Sectionals episode and doesn't follow the storyline of the show after that. Im not 100% sure why I wrote this, as im not particularly fond of Marley to be honest. I was actually really pissed off by the way the eating disorder was portrayed in glee. Like after she fainted, the storyline was completely dropped and never revisited. And everyone was kind of a jerk to her too, where I feel like old glee they'd be all about trying to help her. Obviously, I own nothing. So enjoy! Or uh be depressed I guess.**

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_She could recall vague details. How the world began to spin as she felt herself losing control. The blackness that surrounded her vision until the world around her disappeared. The voices of her friends, frantic and worried as the they tried to wake her. The falsely sweet juice box someone had forced her to swallow down. Everything blurry as millions if thoughts clouded her mind. The world had been moving quickly, so quickly around her. Soon there were flashing lights and loud sirens. The first thing she remembered vividly was the stark white walls surrounding her. Small blank walls closing her in. There was a bed too. A lumpy stuffed mattress which she was sitting propped up on, stiff pillows resting uncomfortably behind her neck. Soon she was aware of slight uncomfortable sensation in her arm. An IV, she had soon realized. Everywhere seemed to ache. Dull and throbbing. And her the hunger. She was so hungry._

Marley pushed the chair to the middle of the room. She stepped up on it, steadying herself by holding onto the chair back.

_The funny thing was, even after she got out of the hospital, the eating problems didn't seem to stop. The day she arrived home she waited until her mom was asleep, then locked herself in the bathroom and purged until nothing more would come out. And she still felt as if there was too much food tossing around in her stomach, even as she stared at her own blood mixed with the toilet water. She had staggered back to bed, pulling the covers up to her neck. But she found herself still shivering. The next day was only worse. Every time she looked in the mirror she felt fatter, as if her stomach was inflating in front if her. And not eating had become harder. Everyone, her mom especially, were staring her down at every meal, making sure she are what they deemed suitable. In her eyes, the portions seemed to grow and grow each time, until she felt as if she ate and elephant for every meal. And then the food would sit in her stomach like a giant rock. She could feel it there, reminding her of the skinny girl she would never be. But she was crafty. She could always find away to slip away to the bathroom, in between class or whole her mom was outside. There she would push it all out, pushing herself and pushing herself until nothing was left but blood and bile. And she still had pills. She had stashed them everywhere. Her mom thought she had found all her hiding spots, but she was wrong. So it became her daily routine. She was torturing herself and she knew it, but she couldn't stop. Everyone was telling her she was perfect and skinny and beautiful: her mom, her therapist, her friends. Her therapist told her it was unhealthy too, that she was hurting herself. But none of it seemed to reach her. All she could see was every inch of fat the protruded off her body._

Marley stood straight and reached for the rope above her, slipping the loop around her neck.

_If one thing was worse than food, it was people. The way the all stared at her when she went back to school. The dirty looks they all gave her. They were all looking down on her, she knew, laughing at her imperfections. Everyone in school seemed to know about what had happened at Sectionals. And she could just feel them all judging her.  
"Oh look it's the anorexic girl." "How naive."  
"How stupid."  
"How shallow."  
The sad thing was that all of it was true. Every insult whispered across the hall. But the whispers weren't the worst. In fact, her friends were. Or the people who used to be her friends. She would rather never have to see the other glee club members again. She saw they way they glared with her. She had let them all down and she knew it. She has ruined it, the New Directions, everything she loved. It was all gone because of her. And all the other members knew it.  
"New Rachel my ass. Rachel would have let down her team like this."  
"How could you be so selfish?"  
"Wait to ruin it for the rest of us."  
They all avoided her. Even Jake was more distant than usual. She wanted them to all be together again, to laugh in the choir room like they used to. But everyone else had just given up_. _It was all her fault, everyone_ _had made sure she knew that._

She took one last look in the mirror. Her bony figure was shaking. She was ready.

_If she was being completely honest with herself, she knew what she was doing was selfish and wrong and that she would go to hell for it. Her mom, she knew her mom would be so upset. And that made her ache inside all over. Her mom, who had sat with her in the hospital and watched her the day she got home, cooking her elaborate meals to make sure she ate. Her mom, who has tucked her in that night and told her she was perfect everyday. And now she was just leaving her, as if she meant nothing. It made her a coward. She knew she was a coward. She was weak and she couldn't handle the pressure, closing in on her from all sides and now finally swallowing her up whole. She was sorry, honestly sorry to everyone she knew she would hurt. But she couldn't_ _take it for another second. So yes_, _she was selfish._

Finally, with one last deep breathe, she kicked the chair away, falling into sweet oblivion.

_No one could hurt her now._


End file.
